Sunday, December 27, 2009

Life is fickle. It can suck.

It can be AWESOME. It can be boring. It can be exciting. I have spent the last year trying to figure mine out.

Last December, when I had my surgery to remove an ovary to make sure it wasn't cancer, I had a chat with God. I said "Ok, if this is not the big bad 'C' word (thanks to family history), I promise to get to know you more. That I did. I also learned a ton about myself. I grew so much this year than I did in the 30 plus years on this earth. And no, it wasn't cancer.

I am not watching as much TV. I don't really want to. I feel 10 times better about not being guilted in the 'missing the best reveal yet' or the 'newest hit of the season'. Thanks to TIVO, I miss all of those commercials that guilted me into checking those out. Now, I still watch my fav's. (Biggest loser, Grey's Anatomy) But I TIVO them. So, I no longer live my life by the tv schedule. Whew. What a relief that is.

I don't want to keep up with the Jones'. They are in debt. They can love you up, or trash talk you behind your back. I want to be real. I don't want to be fake. Ever. Why bother? I don't like to lie, it takes too much of my valuable mind's space to remember who I told what to. We don't have time to use it, either we are working to pay for it or doing some kind of maintenance to it. Why do we bother? I don't care what other people will think of me if a 'talk' to so-in-so.

I love the simple things. I would love to downsize. We built our house in 2005. Great house. Kids love it. In 2008 we finished off the basement, the kids really love that.... but, now we work so hard to 'maintain' it. Recently, my husband told us that he may have a job in Kentucky. They are opening a plant with his company there and are going to need senior operators. We always talked about moving somewhere far away, but we were thinking more like Minocqua,WI. Because it is so beautiful there. I would love to try Kentucky. We are checking things out, but nothing is certain right now.

I am pretty lucky, and happy. I can use my feet to travel miles in a matter of minutes. I am able to use stairs without my spouse or family worrying that I will fall down them. I am loved by a wonderful husband and some pretty great kids who actually listen when I get angry. They don't curse back (ok,yet!). I get to work with (and have in the past) some wonderful people. Good people that are so caring that they cried WITH ME when I got laid off in September. They went to bat to help me stay, which I can't tell you how great that feels. (I miss you guys!)

I am Thankful. I would have never thought of going to Bible camp as a family, if my 7 year old hadn't asked us to go. I was willing to send them for the week, but just never thought of me actually going. I am grateful I did. I have gone myself growing up, but that was kids only, not families. It was a great (albeit) cold experience for my kids and I.

As we look back at the past year, I hope you, yourself can find some great things about each and every one of you. Stop keeping up. Live. This is NOT Heaven, so stop trying to make it one. Someone will always have a 'bigger tv', or better job. But they will also have the bigger bills or more 'junk'.

I hope everyone has a great 2010!