Last Friday began with rain and temps in the 40's. As the day progressed I heard rumors that storm chasers were in the area due to the extreme threat of tornadoes. Color me surprised. Then at work I hear Cincinnati made the news due to the storm and likely hood of multiple tornadoes.
So I logged on to weather channel.com. Yep. According to their TOR CON measuring system, Central KY was rated a 9 (on a scale of 1-8!)
Southern OH was a 8 (where I work)
I LOVE watching the actual weather, but my job is in the backside of a 9+ story hospital that is built into a hill, so as you go down the floors are letters instead of numbers. A, B, C, D. I work 3 floors 'under ground' you could say. No windows.
A LOT of people live in the 'tri-state' (OH, IND, KY) area. The National weather people deemed the tri-state area a PDS. Which means "paticularly devastating storm". Comforting.
As I drove home I heard about how the CVG airport had everyone hit the basement, and there was touchdowns in Kenton County (where I live). I found out later We had MANY tornadoes, but the 3 closest to the family home were...
Holton,IN 44 miles (straight to the west)
Piner, KY 25 miles (9 miles from the home we almost bought when we first moved here)
Moscow, OH 40 miles (to the east)
Louisville, KY 94 miles (to the southwest)
I believe there was a few to the north, just not sure of their locations.
Some pretty cool and yet sad stories are on the news every night. Our youngest's Elementary School Principal was a Principal at Piner Elementary for the past 11 years (it was her first year at my boys school) So they asked all families to help that area out.
A local farm had 20 horses dead in a field, one of them ripped in half.
A local Mom lost one leg above the knee and one at the ankle, protecting her kiddos (ages 4 and 8) in the basement of the home that was completely gone.
One guy witnessed his sisters home disappear and managed to have time to quickly hide before being thrown into a corner of his home, which only lost the roof.
That was a pretty wild afternoon... too bad I had to work through it...
Monday, March 05, 2012
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Yikes!
Where did the time go? Opps.
So. I was excited to manage a whole 3 runs in one week!! It felt awesome to get back out at it!
Then I had one of those emotionally taxing weeks... where you use all your energy to breathe alone. Texting and talking to friends. Trying to not freak out, not. very. successfully. It was a very bad week. I hated to hear all about valentines day 'coming up' and all the 'sweethearts'. I was married 17 years ago on Valentines Day. Just not a good time right now, dealing with guilt of a failing marriage and the pity I have for him...
I managed to attend my first CoDA (co-dependents anonymous) meeting. They are much like AA meetings. I was the last person to walk in and quickly found a seat... wouldn't you know... right next to the meeting leader. Go figure.
I managed to break at least one of the 'rules' of the group, but since I was new, it was ok. I felt like a freak when I sat down and probably for most of the meeting, but after got to meet some pretty nice people. I soon felt like I fit in.
They have a 'big book' just like AA and 12 steps, traditions, promises, and prayers. Lots to take in.
I have a crazy busy week at work this week, since I am working 32 hours at the 'new' job for training AND trying to fit in 20 hours from my 'regular' job all in 5 days. Basically I am working from 7am to 6 pm everyday. Thankfully I love my job and my co-workers!
Well, I am beat! Now, time for bed!
Where did the time go? Opps.
So. I was excited to manage a whole 3 runs in one week!! It felt awesome to get back out at it!
Then I had one of those emotionally taxing weeks... where you use all your energy to breathe alone. Texting and talking to friends. Trying to not freak out, not. very. successfully. It was a very bad week. I hated to hear all about valentines day 'coming up' and all the 'sweethearts'. I was married 17 years ago on Valentines Day. Just not a good time right now, dealing with guilt of a failing marriage and the pity I have for him...
I managed to attend my first CoDA (co-dependents anonymous) meeting. They are much like AA meetings. I was the last person to walk in and quickly found a seat... wouldn't you know... right next to the meeting leader. Go figure.
I managed to break at least one of the 'rules' of the group, but since I was new, it was ok. I felt like a freak when I sat down and probably for most of the meeting, but after got to meet some pretty nice people. I soon felt like I fit in.
They have a 'big book' just like AA and 12 steps, traditions, promises, and prayers. Lots to take in.
I have a crazy busy week at work this week, since I am working 32 hours at the 'new' job for training AND trying to fit in 20 hours from my 'regular' job all in 5 days. Basically I am working from 7am to 6 pm everyday. Thankfully I love my job and my co-workers!
Well, I am beat! Now, time for bed!
Wednesday, February 01, 2012
Some Random-ness: An Update
The kiddos seem to be doing okay. Z is the only one that has Stayed over with me. He loves to do it. Probably because of the lack of competition for computer time. Well, this weekend he had some homework time forced in. He had a report on Abe Lincoln to work on and some math difficulties that my friend helped him with. My friend loves math... me? Not so much. Z needs to work on multiplication tables.
Missing assignments: Both Brock and Reece are in need of some attention in the 'missing assignment' department. Thankfully the kids schools email us immediately when they have missing work. I love it. I talked to the kids as soon as I could to get them motivated to work on the work. I told them I will hold on to the PS3 for a few days if they can't get it together.
Cat love: Every other week, I head over to the house in the am and get the kids on the bus while Duner is on Day shift. The cat typically ignored me, but now she comes up to my feet and meows. Not so I pick her up, but just to pet her. Then I normally curl my hair since I have an hour between buses. This past week, everyday, the cat climbs up in the sink and lays down while I curl my hair. She NEVER did that before. Silly girl!
Friendly Visit! My friends, Juls and Ang, are planning a visit! I am so excited. I feel so incredibly blessed to have friends that are willing to drive 8 hrs ONE WAY to visit me!!
With every
thing going on in my life, I am finding out daily how many great friends I have. Friends that don't judge me. That care about me enough to say "Rachel, you are a mess. I know you can do this." or "you don't need to look to others for your self-worth and yes that is hard." And my favorite "I promise to NEVER give up on you!" Awe, shucks... AND some of my co-workers completely ROCK. I look so forward to spending 6 or 7 days a week with them. <3
Fitness: I am sooooo glad the weather is warmer than normal! It really makes me want to get out there and run/jog! I no longer have a gym membership so I have to do my fitness workouts at home. I am hoping to be able to join another gym soon. I would like to do another triathlon this year and will need the pool for swimming.
My Hospital, aka the new employer, took my picture this week for ANOTHER name badge. Apparently I will have two badges for my work. One for the 'contracted' employee (current position) and one for the 'Hospital' employee. When they take the picture they let you 'yay' or 'nay' the picture. I was shocked when I saw the picture. I looked so skinny. I didn't recognize it. I am so used to my original picture with 15- 20 lbs extra on it. Now, I am still considered 'borderline' overweight, believe it or not, according to the government BMI websi
te. I would also love to lose 10 more lbs to get out of the 'fat girl' division in Triathlon! That would be sweet if I could do that by summer! I work with some great people that are into fitness, in fact, we have a team doing a heartwalk/ run on March 18th. I am seriously considering this event, not sure how much it will cost yet, and IF the budget will allow it.
Missing assignments: Both Brock and Reece are in need of some attention in the 'missing assignment' department. Thankfully the kids schools email us immediately when they have missing work. I love it. I talked to the kids as soon as I could to get them motivated to work on the work. I told them I will hold on to the PS3 for a few days if they can't get it together.
Cat love: Every other week, I head over to the house in the am and get the kids on the bus while Duner is on Day shift. The cat typically ignored me, but now she comes up to my feet and meows. Not so I pick her up, but just to pet her. Then I normally curl my hair since I have an hour between buses. This past week, everyday, the cat climbs up in the sink and lays down while I curl my hair. She NEVER did that before. Silly girl!
Friendly Visit! My friends, Juls and Ang, are planning a visit! I am so excited. I feel so incredibly blessed to have friends that are willing to drive 8 hrs ONE WAY to visit me!!
With every
Fitness: I am sooooo glad the weather is warmer than normal! It really makes me want to get out there and run/jog! I no longer have a gym membership so I have to do my fitness workouts at home. I am hoping to be able to join another gym soon. I would like to do another triathlon this year and will need the pool for swimming.
My Hospital, aka the new employer, took my picture this week for ANOTHER name badge. Apparently I will have two badges for my work. One for the 'contracted' employee (current position) and one for the 'Hospital' employee. When they take the picture they let you 'yay' or 'nay' the picture. I was shocked when I saw the picture. I looked so skinny. I didn't recognize it. I am so used to my original picture with 15- 20 lbs extra on it. Now, I am still considered 'borderline' overweight, believe it or not, according to the government BMI websi
te. I would also love to lose 10 more lbs to get out of the 'fat girl' division in Triathlon! That would be sweet if I could do that by summer! I work with some great people that are into fitness, in fact, we have a team doing a heartwalk/ run on March 18th. I am seriously considering this event, not sure how much it will cost yet, and IF the budget will allow it.
Friday, January 20, 2012
In Other News...
So besides the emotional junk here is the latest stuff going on in my life...
I now, well, as of Feb 13th, will have two jobs.
My current wonderful job as a Site Coordinator in an ER dept with the doctors and then soon to be Unit clerk in the same department on the weekends. It is a rotating schedule. I will work 2 twelve hour shifts between Friday's and Sundays. Either 7am or 11 am. No night shifts. Yay! I love sleep.
I also had an interview with Childrens Hospital here in Cincinnati. The sat me in a room and had me complete a test in Word and Excel. Great! I love word and Excel... um, the old versions, I guess.
Wow, I got a quick crash course in the newest version of Microsoft Word by guessing my answers. I think I recovered nicely enough with the new version of Microsoft Excel to actually pass!
Then I had an interview. This paticular day had been extra NASTY to my hair. HUGE gusting winds and a DOWN POUR in the morning always helps ones hair look nice. ha.ha. Overall, it went well. IF, they would decide to proceed with me I would have to interview with the dept manager. That position was 2 eight hour days on Wednesday and Thursdays. That means I would have to cram my 32 hours at my current job into 3+ days a week, AND if they do move me up to 40 hrs a week, I REALLY will be craming it all in. Basically, I am not to keen about working 56 hours in 5 days time... At least with the Unit Clerk position I can share my job with 7 other unit clerks for time off if I need it.
Also, on the kids front... as I was stopped at a light this week, I quickly took a peek at FB. I see a status from my 14 year old saying "School caught on Fire! No School!!"... I quickly called his cell phone to find him at home hanging out. Apparently, someone started a fire in the boys bathroom at school. No Mom, I asked him, he had nothing to do with it. Not even close to the bathroom...
Any how, some kids have all the luck. I never got sent home due to a fire. AND he had no homework, since they all had to leave their supplies in the rooms.
Okay, back to work!
I now, well, as of Feb 13th, will have two jobs.
My current wonderful job as a Site Coordinator in an ER dept with the doctors and then soon to be Unit clerk in the same department on the weekends. It is a rotating schedule. I will work 2 twelve hour shifts between Friday's and Sundays. Either 7am or 11 am. No night shifts. Yay! I love sleep.
I also had an interview with Childrens Hospital here in Cincinnati. The sat me in a room and had me complete a test in Word and Excel. Great! I love word and Excel... um, the old versions, I guess.
Wow, I got a quick crash course in the newest version of Microsoft Word by guessing my answers. I think I recovered nicely enough with the new version of Microsoft Excel to actually pass!
Then I had an interview. This paticular day had been extra NASTY to my hair. HUGE gusting winds and a DOWN POUR in the morning always helps ones hair look nice. ha.ha. Overall, it went well. IF, they would decide to proceed with me I would have to interview with the dept manager. That position was 2 eight hour days on Wednesday and Thursdays. That means I would have to cram my 32 hours at my current job into 3+ days a week, AND if they do move me up to 40 hrs a week, I REALLY will be craming it all in. Basically, I am not to keen about working 56 hours in 5 days time... At least with the Unit Clerk position I can share my job with 7 other unit clerks for time off if I need it.
Also, on the kids front... as I was stopped at a light this week, I quickly took a peek at FB. I see a status from my 14 year old saying "School caught on Fire! No School!!"... I quickly called his cell phone to find him at home hanging out. Apparently, someone started a fire in the boys bathroom at school. No Mom, I asked him, he had nothing to do with it. Not even close to the bathroom...
Any how, some kids have all the luck. I never got sent home due to a fire. AND he had no homework, since they all had to leave their supplies in the rooms.
Okay, back to work!
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
I am worthy.
For some strange reason, those words make me cry.
*sigh*
I had my final 'free' session with my counselor today. I signed up for me. I feel like I am learning so much about myself by leaps and bounds. I don't want to give up yet.
How sad is it for someone to believe they are not worthy. I know all the words to say, but how to believe them in my heart are a completely different animal. What does 'Rachel' want? That's a whole 'nother problem.
It is like a mental block. I don't know what I want.
BUT I know what I DON'T WANT.
I don't want to be judged.
or talked down to.
or used.
or ignored.
or bought.
or discounted.
or forgotten.
or closed minded.
I need to learn NOT to take peoples insecurities and make them my own. I need to learn to find confidence. I need to take a step back and look at me from a distance and see the situation for what it really is. Learn the difference between love and pity. Stop looking to others for direction in my life. Clearly that has run me directly into the ground.
Time to cry.
Time to grieve.
Time to learn. It is OKAY. I will be okay.
Friends and Family need not to worry about me. I am okay. I am so desperately looking forward to this process. Well, not the pain and tears but the results. I need to look to myself and figure me out. Be selfish. I am no good to anyone right now.
It's a journey to my 'worthy'.
*sigh*
I had my final 'free' session with my counselor today. I signed up for me. I feel like I am learning so much about myself by leaps and bounds. I don't want to give up yet.
How sad is it for someone to believe they are not worthy. I know all the words to say, but how to believe them in my heart are a completely different animal. What does 'Rachel' want? That's a whole 'nother problem.
It is like a mental block. I don't know what I want.
BUT I know what I DON'T WANT.
I don't want to be judged.
or talked down to.
or used.
or ignored.
or bought.
or discounted.
or forgotten.
or closed minded.
I need to learn NOT to take peoples insecurities and make them my own. I need to learn to find confidence. I need to take a step back and look at me from a distance and see the situation for what it really is. Learn the difference between love and pity. Stop looking to others for direction in my life. Clearly that has run me directly into the ground.
Time to cry.
Time to grieve.
Time to learn. It is OKAY. I will be okay.
Friends and Family need not to worry about me. I am okay. I am so desperately looking forward to this process. Well, not the pain and tears but the results. I need to look to myself and figure me out. Be selfish. I am no good to anyone right now.
It's a journey to my 'worthy'.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
One down, TWO to go!!
So today was the big test and first interview.
The test went great, interview too. Facinating job. I would be trained on reading EKG's for it and would have to watch a 35 bed cardiac unit!!! Scary but fun! Bad part is it would be night shift, but only 2 twelve hour shifts. 7p to 7a. and every 3 rd weekend.
Tomorrow I meet with Nate and Stephanie from my department for our chat, ur, I mean interview. This position is primarily every weekend in some way, but NO NIGHTS. either 7a-7p or 11a-11p on a rotating basis.
And....
Now I have an interview for next Tuesday with Childrens Hospital for a part time Admin Assistant job! So excited. I think the Childrens job is a 'no weekend' position. I think it was 15 -20 hrs a week which would be perfect!
Exciting stuff!
The test went great, interview too. Facinating job. I would be trained on reading EKG's for it and would have to watch a 35 bed cardiac unit!!! Scary but fun! Bad part is it would be night shift, but only 2 twelve hour shifts. 7p to 7a. and every 3 rd weekend.
Tomorrow I meet with Nate and Stephanie from my department for our chat, ur, I mean interview. This position is primarily every weekend in some way, but NO NIGHTS. either 7a-7p or 11a-11p on a rotating basis.
And....
Now I have an interview for next Tuesday with Childrens Hospital for a part time Admin Assistant job! So excited. I think the Childrens job is a 'no weekend' position. I think it was 15 -20 hrs a week which would be perfect!
Exciting stuff!
Monday, January 09, 2012
How to love yourself.
How to love yourself by Me.Apparently there is 18 steps to loving yourself (according to wiki) ... much more complicated than the AA 12 step program... go figure.
Apparently my 3 free pre- approved EAP counseling visits won't cut it. Dang.
Oh well, I will be figuring in this thing out one way or another!!
Admiting there is a problem is a good start. Pretending you are happy eventually comes back to bite you in the fanny. And filling it with credit also does the same thing. Eventually you have to pay up, um, or file chapter 7.
Brace yourself for the backlash. When you let people walk over you and talk down to you they don't like it when you buck them. When you find a spine or your opinion, you will rock the boat or heck tip the dang thing over like someone told me I was doing. Opps. Sorry about that... wait... no I am not... I REALLY need to stop apologizing for every little thing! I realize I do that a lot for other peoples things too!
Positive self talk. (insert Stuart Smalley here) "I am good enough, smart enough and doggone it, people like me!" Good friends are like gold. I am blessed to have some pretty awesome ones. I can't tell you how much I treasure there friendship and comforting words. How did they get so dang smart??
Turn off the TV. Be comfortable with the silence and your very own thoughts. Ok. maybe I need a little Pandora Adele radio on in the background. I love it. I am working on the silence part yet.
I have begun reading
Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Townsend. I hate reading. This is gonna be tough. My mind wanders off while I read. I usually end up having to re-read entire pages because I have wandered off not sure what I just read. Maybe it has something to do with having kids... lol. (see my positive self notes in the top of the pic for my bathroom mirror.ha.ha.)Its a learning curve. I am working on it...
So I currently work 32 hours per week. I LOVE LOVE LOVE MY JOB! I am crazy lucky to have my co-wrkers and hours and pay!! Love it. But I need closer to 40 hours, so I am picking up addtional hours at the hospital as a HUC. It stands for Health Unit Coordinator. Also known as the 'know it all of the floor' or 'catch all'. Basically you are asked to call this person, or answer that phone, or open the door for that person (locked enterance). No start date yet, I still have to pass a test first. Urgh.
I hate tests for the same reason I hate reading. My mind wanders.
I love the fact that ther has been a full moon lately. Not only does it bring out the crazies to the medical facilities and ED's, but it also shines brightly into my apartment and I can watch it perfectly move across the sky from my couch. Love that! (See that big white thing in the picture?)
I spent the weekend chillin' with the Zebster at the apartment. The older boys wer invited but prefer the Soda and comforts of home. Brock downed 9 sodas on Friday alone. I believe the novelty will wear off soon... or his enamel on his teeth and he will remember the pain of the repair. He hates needles. We will see what gives first.
Zeb and I watched Harry Potter, Transformers, made popcorn, root beer floats, brownies, chocolate chip cookies and went to the library. (Oh, and we had real food.) He had to pick up a book for a report on Abe Lincoln. While we were there 'Chloe' came up to Zeb and excitedly said "Hi Zeb!" oh, I just loved watching him turn into a turnip!! It was adorable!!
So this week, I see the counselor for session number 2 on Tuesday, Testing for said new job on Wednesday and 'interview' for new job on Thursday. This should be the most fun interview I have ever had since the manager already told me I have the job. She rocks.
Can't wait for the weekend!!! Woo Hoo! Busy. Busy week ahead!
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