Wednesday, February 22, 2012


There is not much in life we can control.

Like when the Starbucks barista accidentally puts too much peppermint and mocha in my drink, or someone decides to indirectly try to hurt you with something they post on Facebook. We have a choice. We can flip out and demand a 'do over' or we can put on our 'big girl' panties and deal with it.

I am going to worry about me. If someone doesn't like what I post, or write that is THEIR problem. They can voice THEIR opinion. Fine. That is all I am going to say....

In other news, I am now working 56 hours a week to make ends meet. I am lucky that I love my jobs. Both of them.

Thanks to the extra hours, in training, I was able to join a local gym. Super excited!! It has a hot tub and a pool!! I want to do another triathlon this summer but not sure which one. I will have to see what I can afford. The Door County Tri is over $100 to sign up, but the High Cliff Tri is half that but is during a weekend I am supposed to work all weekend. I don't know if I will have enough paid time off by then...

I have a bed. Color me excited! Now, after sleeping on the floor for 4 months, I was a little uncomfortable the first few nights but now I am loving that I don't have to get my butt off the floor in the morning! Makes my 5 am wake ups a little easier to happen.

My oldest, B. , turned 17 recently. We celebrated this past weekend with dinner at Golden Corral. He loves that place... mainly for the carbs. Pizza, French Fries and mac-n-cheese.

The middle child, R. , is heading the Washington DC this week with school. I am so jealous. I never got to do anything so fun when I was in school. They will be there 4 days and it is JAM PACKED with tours and food. He will probably suffer some PS3 withdrawl, hopefully the ipod will maintain his electronic fix.

Z., loves to come visit on the weekends, but now I will be working a 3 weekend rotation and only be off every 3rd Saturday and Sunday. Otherwise I will be working 12 hour shifts.

Doesn't leave much free time on the days that I work. I am trying to work 12 hour shifts at both jobs so I can have 2 days off at various points each week. This week I am off Thursday and Monday. Then I work for a week straight. Luckily the days fly by and no time to spend money!

I am trying to walk on the days I don't run, bike or swim. It seems when I train, I eat more... defeating the purpose of the exercises. I justify my chocolate and peanut butter ice cream cone by the fact I had just ran a few miles. I have a harder time justifying the walking. Plus walking burns more fat. Any yes, I have plenty of it left. I am still boardline 'overweight' according to the BMI calculators. Grrrr.

I am going to control what I can... I am what I am love me or hate me...

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Where did the time go? Opps.
So. I was excited to manage a whole 3 runs in one week!! It felt awesome to get back out at it!

Then I had one of those emotionally taxing weeks... where you use all your energy to breathe alone. Texting and talking to friends. Trying to not freak out, not. very. successfully. It was a very bad week. I hated to hear all about valentines day 'coming up' and all the 'sweethearts'. I was married 17 years ago on Valentines Day. Just not a good time right now, dealing with guilt of a failing marriage and the pity I have for him...

I managed to attend my first CoDA (co-dependents anonymous) meeting. They are much like AA meetings. I was the last person to walk in and quickly found a seat... wouldn't you know... right next to the meeting leader. Go figure.

I managed to break at least one of the 'rules' of the group, but since I was new, it was ok. I felt like a freak when I sat down and probably for most of the meeting, but after got to meet some pretty nice people. I soon felt like I fit in.

They have a 'big book' just like AA and 12 steps, traditions, promises, and prayers. Lots to take in.

I have a crazy busy week at work this week, since I am working 32 hours at the 'new' job for training AND trying to fit in 20 hours from my 'regular' job all in 5 days. Basically I am working from 7am to 6 pm everyday. Thankfully I love my job and my co-workers!

Well, I am beat! Now, time for bed!

Wednesday, February 01, 2012

Some Random-ness: An Update

The kiddos seem to be doing okay. Z is the only one that has Stayed over with me. He loves to do it. Probably because of the lack of competition for computer time. Well, this weekend he had some homework time forced in. He had a report on Abe Lincoln to work on and some math difficulties that my friend helped him with. My friend loves math... me? Not so much. Z needs to work on multiplication tables.

Missing assignments: Both Brock and Reece are in need of some attention in the 'missing assignment' department. Thankfully the kids schools email us immediately when they have missing work. I love it. I talked to the kids as soon as I could to get them motivated to work on the work. I told them I will hold on to the PS3 for a few days if they can't get it together.

Cat love: Every other week, I head over to the house in the am and get the kids on the bus while Duner is on Day shift. The cat typically ignored me, but now she comes up to my feet and meows. Not so I pick her up, but just to pet her. Then I normally curl my hair since I have an hour between buses. This past week, everyday, the cat climbs up in the sink and lays down while I curl my hair. She NEVER did that before. Silly girl!

Friendly Visit! My friends, Juls and Ang, are planning a visit! I am so excited. I feel so incredibly blessed to have friends that are willing to drive 8 hrs ONE WAY to visit me!!
With everything going on in my life, I am finding out daily how many great friends I have. Friends that don't judge me. That care about me enough to say "Rachel, you are a mess. I know you can do this." or "you don't need to look to others for your self-worth and yes that is hard." And my favorite "I promise to NEVER give up on you!" Awe, shucks... AND some of my co-workers completely ROCK. I look so forward to spending 6 or 7 days a week with them. <3

Fitness: I am sooooo glad the weather is warmer than normal! It really makes me want to get out there and run/jog! I no longer have a gym membership so I have to do my fitness workouts at home. I am hoping to be able to join another gym soon. I would like to do another triathlon this year and will need the pool for swimming.

My Hospital, aka the new employer, took my picture this week for ANOTHER name badge. Apparently I will have two badges for my work. One for the 'contracted' employee (current position) and one for the 'Hospital' employee. When they take the picture they let you 'yay' or 'nay' the picture. I was shocked when I saw the picture. I looked so skinny. I didn't recognize it. I am so used to my original picture with 15- 20 lbs extra on it. Now, I am still considered 'borderline' overweight, believe it or not, according to the government BMI website. I would also love to lose 10 more lbs to get out of the 'fat girl' division in Triathlon! That would be sweet if I could do that by summer! I work with some great people that are into fitness, in fact, we have a team doing a heartwalk/ run on March 18th. I am seriously considering this event, not sure how much it will cost yet, and IF the budget will allow it.