Just Me Being Real

Ok.
So here is another reason I have not blogged much lately. Bear with me.

I am trying not to let my anxiety get out of control. I have learned I like to sleep to avoid anxiety.

Back in September I had my lovely 'yearly exam' with my Obgyn. I have an AWESOME Doctor. I wish he delivered my first two kids, he never acts like I am 'just a patient'. Always takes his time, no matter how far behind he may be.

Anyway....
I described some symptoms to him, thinking he was just going to reassure me and tell me it was probably just A,B or C... but he ordered some tests just to be sure. I had some labs and an ultrasound. He had also found a small lump, just under my armpit and ordered an ultrasound for that as well as a mammogram.

Nothing was found on the Mammogram or ultrasound for the 'lump', but he still wants me to visit a breast surgeon anyway.
And I will, but first the OTHER ultrasound showed something funny with my left ovary. I had been having pain on my left side and some bloating. He said we needed to follow up in November with a 2nd ultrasound and see from there.

Well... I haven't had much pain except one stabbing pain on Halloween, but otherwise NOTHING. So I almost canceled my follow appointment. We have a $3000 deductible with Duners new insurance and I didn't really want the bill, but I kept forgetting to cancel it early enough so I showed up for it because I was afraid I would get charged if I didn't.

Ok.

So I have the ultrasound and wait to see the Dr immediately after, only thinking of all the stuff I could be doing at home if I didn't have the appt. I was fully expecting him to say... "Well, Looks like it got back to normal", but he didn't.

He said "Do you see the right ovary? See those circles in it? Those are normal. That side looks good. BUT, Do you see all the 'Free Fluid' , Do you see how the left side is dark and had those wavy lines though it? That is not normal. I would like to do a lapraotomy to see and possibly remove your ovary if needed. It could just be benign. But I want make sure."

Blink. Blink.
Ok.
That was NOT go home your fine.... oh and Thanks for the $.

That was We ARE NOT DONE HERE.
*Gulp*

So, my family history is... Grandma Margaret (My Mom's Mom) died from Ovarian Cancer. My Mom had 'precancerous cells' and mastectomy.

Not the best appointment.But because he is SUCH AN AWESOME DOCTOR, he is bumping his patients for me to get this done before the end of the year, because I have to switch to a new OBGYN, thanks to insurance and a $6000 deductible if I stay with him, because he is out of network.

If you have ever checked out the symptoms of ovarian cancer you would guess 80% of people have it.

• Ongoing cramps or pain in your belly.
• Ongoing pain in your pelvis or lower back.
• Abnormal discharge.
• Nausea or loss of appetite, or you cannot eat normally.
• Ongoing bloating or intestinal gas that is not relieved by home treatment measures.
• Bigger belly size or a lump that can be felt in your belly.
• Decreased energy level.
• A change in your bowel habits, such as constipation or diarrhea.
• A change in your bladder habits, such as urinary frequency or urgency.
• Weight loss

Bloating?
Cramping?
Nausea?

I won't go into detail about how many or which ones I have but it is hard to calm yourself down sometimes when you learn that if you have a family history of it your 3x more likely to get it. Another website said Breast and Ovarian Cancers can be related (!!!)?? Great.

Then one website says "Ovarian cancer does not cause many symptoms in its early stages. This is why most cases are not found until the cancer has spread. Most women do have symptoms in the 6 to 12 months before ovarian cancer is found."

Lovely. So until next week Monday I am trying not to research anything more online... trying to keep my focus on the upcoming Half Marathon I have in February that I am training for. I truly do not have time for any type of cancer or complication. Thanks to the Surgery, I will be out of training for one full week, but I hope to be getting back after that.

So please, I will accept any good thoughts, prayers, wishes or whatever you can send my way... I go in early Monday Morning to have the surgery. It is outpatient surgery, so I will be home pretty quickly.

Duner will be with me during the surgery, and my Mom will be sending the kids off to school for that morning for us... so Wish me Luck!