Ow.

How is it I can swim, bike and run for just over two hours Saturday morning and feel fine... and then I workout with a trainer for 30 minutes and feel immediate lack of control over the arms, having to wait to shower until I can shampoo??? ... cautiously driving home without excessive turning required...and the next day feeling every angry muscle, still very angry at me...

Well, listen up kids, here is how!


First. This here trainer, we will call #3, since she is my now THIRD trainer in 5 months,
says to me : Okay, lets start by doing push-ups.

I begin to look around for a mat to cushion my knees, since I ALWAYS do the modified push-ups, cause I am a girl and can get away with it. UNTIL she says: Oh and you won't need a mat (she must have read my mind) because you are not going to be doing them your knees.

Oh, GREAT! Happily I begin thinking this chic is going to let me do them against a wall!

Then she said: You are going to do the full regular push up. (whimper) You are going to go flat on the floor lift your hands in between each one, keeping your hands at your chest level, then push up again.


So, I begin. Pretty pleased with the first 5, then I patiently continue, waiting for her to tell me to stop, or feel sorry for me.

But she didn't. After a few more, I ask "how many do I have to do?'


"40" she says. Like she was ordering a latte.

Deep exhale from me. Panic creeping in. Clearly she wasn't informed of my weakness here peticularly in the ARM REGION. Heck, she didn't need a memo, there is NO definition going on in these arms! She must have sized me up and said 'Yep, she needs a good wipin'!".


I replied "What? You couldn't have said 4 sets of 10, or 2 sets of 20, maybe sugar coat it a bit?"

She laughed and said "You are almost half way there."

"Really?" I asked. Wow. I am impressed with myself, until I found out she lied! After 8 more she said I was half way!! I was barely a quarter of the way there!!! I know the last 10 were the most pathetic push ups ever seen. Might I also mention I was in the 'weight room'. Like the real, manly room. With real studs that can actually do 40 push ups. Probably with a single arm. Yep. Good times. Nothing like a good emotional and physical whipping to crack you into shape!

So next she decided to 'rest my arms' a bit. Lets do air squats.


I run. I bike. I have leg muscles. That was not the problem. Her version of not using arms was having my raise them as I squated. My shoulders were still pretty ticked at my four minutes of fun. Yes. It took me a WHOLE FOUR MINUTES to do 40 full on push ups. I had to stop to whine and get blood back into my arms and toes, to make sure there were still there.


So how many Air Squats? 35

Next? Pull-ups. Thankfully assisted. How many? Only 45! First 15 without a lot of counter weight, the next 15 with more counter weight and the last 15 with pity.


Then she grabs a bar. Just a white tube you would see in a home for plumbing.

She says "Okay, hold this over your arms like this and push it up, lock your arms up over your head. You want your arms to be BEHIND YOUR EARS. While you lunge across the floor and back. Make sure you touch your knee to the ground each dip."

This requires coordination. My body doesn't coordinate well. I concentrate on one part the other fails, I knew how this was going to go.

I was trying so hard to make sure I touch the ground and hold the bar up that I kept forgetting which leg I just used to lunge on. I can't tell you how many times she yelled "LOCK YOUR ARMS" or nicely say 'You didn't touch the ground.' At least she didn't make me do over!


I must say this. Since this whole personal trainer thing has started, my balance has gotten better. But that's a blog post for another day... Any who...

Next up? Sit ups! How many you ask? 25 of course. Not just plain old sit ups... NO! I had to sit down on my butt. Knees out. Bottom of feet together. As to 'completely engage the abs and take everything else out of play'. I didn't know muscles played, but now I do! Ouch. I hope they had fun 'cause I am feelin' a bit old now.

You see, she was doing a Pattern, but it got messed up since someone was on the pull up machine. It was supposed to start at 45 pull ups, then 40 push ups, 35 squats, 30 lunges and 25 sit ups.

Now you so... so get your but in gear!! There. For FREE I just gave you a personal trainer workout.
Your welcome.